Your actions and attitude can MAKE or BREAK any and ALL situations!
You can choose to RESPOND with emotional intelligence to diffuse a bad situation, brighten one’s day, or even to maintain its neutrality.
OR
You can choose to REACT with your emotions and flare up, fire up discord, or ignite the fight or flight response in someone else.
Every day we have opportunities to be RIGHT or RIGHTEOUS. Sometimes we are RIGHT, but is it worth the argument? I have learned to pick and choose what I want to win and what I am okay to lose.
A co-worker or friend says something under their breath, I can make a choice to respond or react. It is so much harder than it sounds. I know I could hurt them with words, using sarcasm and justifying because it was funny or ‘sounded’ like I was just joking. Have you ever done that or know someone who does it all the time? Do you avoid them at all costs to not be the butt of the joke? I do.
I could ‘vent’ to another person just to get it out of my system, gossiping and possibly turning a small thing into a big thing igniting their passion for justice for me. Feel good to be stood up for in the moment. Is this secretly executing revenge to get them back without even realizing it? UGH! Depend on your heart when you are doing it. Everyone is different, always do a heart check of WHY you are doing what you are doing.
Hurt is like a lit fuse, it is sparked by our own emotional reaction. It can be thrown any direction we aim it. We are holding it, we lit it by someone or something that happened to us or in front of us. But a choice needs to be made with that fuse burning away before it reaches the gunpowder.
- You can tuck it away like nothing happened and stay angry, yet it will blow up right in your hands, harming you, creating a wound, that now is bleeding and needs tending or infection will set in.
- You can throw it at the person who hurt you, hurting them and you have to watch their pain of dealing with an open wound. You might be happy for a little while, but it does eventually come around to affect your own heart; because you are a loving person that does not want anyone to feel the hurt you have experienced.
- You can use your lit fuse to light your friends fuses so they can burn with you. There is nothing wrong with talking to friends about your problems, but it is how you go about it that is important. Sharing your heart and hurt is always good, but do not give them loaded questions to come against others just to prove their loyalty. Someone has to lose in that one, we are looking for wins for everyone here. It should be about YOU, not someone else when you vent or it becomes GOSSIP.
- You can put it out, diffuse the situation being the stronger person. Oh, because this option takes strength, endurance, patience, self-worth, will power, self-control…. did I mention patience? The outcome is phenomenal; empowerment to be confident in yourself, personal growth is priceless. You can bite your tongue; I suggest 10 seconds before speaking, (lol) this helped me. This is not for the weak, but the rewards are HUGE!
You can choose and you and I do choose every day which one of these 4 choices we will make. I am not perfect. CONFESSION: I did #2 just in the last week! Boy did I have to backtrack my steps and own up. I cried myself to sleep because of it and pride kept me awake for hours, I was right, darn it! I needed reconciliation for myself though, so important.
Words are so powerful. Their reach is deep. Negative words cannot be taken back, but (HOPE BORN) you can destroy them with new words of kindness, forgiveness, compassion, or empathy.
You have this chance daily to light your fuse. Your children, co-workers, spouse, parents, friends, or the checkout clerk at the store give you reasons all day!
However, you can make the choice to put out not only your fuse, but others by stopping for a moment before speaking and INTENTIONALLY making the decision to do what is best for the situation in front of you.
I have realized that my mouth has gotten me into trouble more times than not. I used to think I could say anything I wanted, but I hurt others in the process and one day I realized I was sitting on a minefield created by my own actions. A literal nuclear REACTOR! I was reacting because of my hurt, not responding as if I had any patience, love, understanding, or allowance for anyone else. I took everything personal. I had to change my perspective. I love people and here I sat in a mine field, no one in and no one out! I thank God for the newness in me and my ability to share these perspectives of my own personal growth migration.
You and I were made for relationship, we were made for one another. We are protectors, encouragers, and leaders that fight for humanity!
It is necessary to have a flame burning inside you carrying your passion and justice; consequently, take pause when you share your flame and discern if it is to light a fuse to cause harm or to light another soul for unity of purpose.
Be intentional today with every interaction you make, trust me when I say it gets easier!
